Butt plugs, also called anal plugs, are typically diamond-shaped with a thin neck and a flared base, which prevents them from slipping into the rectum. The bulge in the middle helps the plug stay in place, where it will stimulate the prostate. To find your prostate, insert a finger or small curved butt plug about two inches in and press towards the belly.

Anal beads cause the sphincter muscles to contract, which can put many people into orgasm. Beads come in all sizes and materials, and are a series of beads knotted into place along a string with a ring on the end.

Anal dildos - use a thin dildo anally if you like the in-and-out motion of penetration, or you can try a dildo of any size (with our without a harness) to have anal sex (anal intercourse) with a partner.

"It hurts!" Anal sex only hurts if you’re doing it incorrectly.  The majority of us carry a lot of tension in our assholes--the same way we carry stress in our shoulders.  Pain results when an object is forced through tight sphincter muscles, damaging the delicate anal tissues. If anal sex ever hurts, you should stop or take the stimulation back a notch.  Remember--the key to anal pleasure is relaxation and lubrication!  (Please don’t ever use numbing creams for anal sex.  Pain is a warning signal from our bodies that we should take seriously.)

 "It gives you hemorrhoids (and/or uncontrollable bowels)!" Most people find that when they start exploring butt play, their anal health improves.  All muscles benefit from the increased circulation that results from exercise and relaxation.

"It’s messy!" Although you’re likely to encounter some poop in your anal sex career, it’s probably going to be a lot less than you imagined.  Most anal play engages only the first few inches of the anus and rectum, which do not store feces.  Most people find that a thorough wash in the shower does the trick for removing any surface grime.  If you’re fastidious about cleaning, try an Anal Douche with regular room temperature tap water a couple hours before you play. 

"It means you’re gay!" People of all genders and orientations enjoy anal play.  We all have butts!  Besides, it’s a myth that all gay men only have anal sex.  In fact, the majority of gay men report that oral sex is their favorite sexual activity.

Relax. Bend-over beginners need to learn to relax the sphincter muscles that ring the anal opening. Learning to relax these muscles can take time--especially after years of neglect or tension. Run your finger along the anus to relax it first. Gently insert lubed finger into the anus. Ask your partner to push out as if trying to have a bowel movement, and that will relax the outer sphincter enough to slip in a finger or butt toy.

Communicate.It’s important that the person being penetrated control the pace of play. Nothing should ever be forced or hurried in anal play, and partners should stay in close communication about what feels good--and what doesn’t.

Use lots of lube. Don’t skimp on lube! The fragile lining of the anus does not lubricate sufficiently for pleasurable anal sex. Add more lube than you think you need.  Generously lube the anus and your toy, and reapply often. A thick lube like Maximus stays where you put it and can protect delicate anal tissues if you use enough.

Go slow. Especially at first, when your toy or finger first enters the anus, your partner will need some time to adjust to the sensation. Check in about what feels good. As he learns to relax his sphincter muscle he'll probably request  more vigorous thrusting.